Hello everyone!
Last week, I finally got the word that I could set up a meeting with the fertility clinic. I called and they initially wanted Dan and I to come up for a new patient consult as soon as possible. I scheduled in for Monday, December 12th at 9:30. (yesterday)
Then I thought, hmm just a consult? You mean we need to drive all the way there to just meet with them? So I called back and explained that we lived two hours away and although that is not all that far, it does require us to both be off work the entire day for a 30 minute meeting. Was there anyway we could start the medical screening process? The receptionist told me that wasn't how they did it. :( I explained that this couple had been waiting SO LONG for me to come along and with the holidays, I didn't want to prolong it. Still nothing. The clinic wanted us to get "all of the information" and then make a decision before testing. Understandable, but we have researched A TON and we know what to expect!
About an hour later, the receptionist called me back and said, "Okay, I emailed the Nurse Practitioner and she agreed to start the blood work. But you will have to come back another time to do a Hysterosonogram." Whew! This meant that Dan could get his screening done as well and I would be the only one to need to go up later! NO PROBLEM!
So, yesterday, we headed up North to meet the doctors and see the clinic. The best part was getting to actually meet the intended parents in person.
We got to town a little early, so we met E and P at their house. We then road with them to the clinic to let the fun begin!
E and I have been talking a lot through text lately so it was not weird at all! She is so outgoing and easy to talk to, it is really like we have already known each other for years!
Once at the appointment, Dan and I met with the Nurse Practitioner who went over my medical history and the upcoming process. She also told me about the Hysterosonogram I needed. This is where they expand my uterus with saline to get a good look inside. They want to just make sure that there are no adhesion, or anything that may interfere with the embryo transfer and attachment. She then said, "We can actually take you today if you have time." SIGN ME UP! I will make time to get this phase done!
She answered any questions we had, talked about the medications I will be taking, and gave me pre-natals to start on.
Next, I went to have blood work done. After, we had about 45 minutes before the HSN so we walked over to Starbucks to grab a drink. We were able to sit and chat with the Intended Parents (IP's) for a while.
Upon heading back to the clinic, I was taken back to do the HSN. This was like no other OBGYN I have ever been to! In the procedure room, there was calming music, a heated table, blankets, pillows, and a nurse whos sole job was to rub my shoulder and ask if I was doing okay. Talk about a calming experience for having saline injected into your uterus!
After all was said and done, we grabbed a bite to eat with the IP's and then headed back home. Blood results should be back for clearance within two weeks and then we move on to the legal (blah) phase!
Once the contracts are signed, I will begin the hormones for transfer! Stay tuned!
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Still waiting
It has been a week since meeting the Intended Parents (IPs). We met via Skype on Tuesday and by Thursday we had received the "go ahead." This meant that they liked us and felt comfortable with us to move forward!This also meant that I was able to receive their email and phone number so that we could communicate directly and not through the agency.
I immediately texted the mom and let her know to text at anytime. We have since texted a few times over the week and it has been nice getting to know her. We have very similar personalities and we both have a love of Disney :)
The next step will be my medical screening. The coordinating nurse at the fertility clinic was out all last week and was suppose to return to work yesterday. I have been anxiously awaiting a phone call from them to set up my appointment. I am really hoping they can get me in before Christmas to start this process. The results of all the blood work and such will take a week or two to get back before we can move on the the next phase which is the least fun, Legal.
Luckily for us, we both live in Illinois and Illinois has great laws about surrogacy. (some other states make surrogacy more difficult) So this process should be pretty quick. There is a lot of legal stuff to think about when someone is carrying someone else's child for them. Anyway, we have been referred to a lawyer who is very familiar with surrogacy cases so it should be painless.
After legal is over, we will move on to the transfer phase. I should know more about this after my medical appointment!
Please pray that they can get me in before Christmas so that we can get this process started!
I'll update soon!
I immediately texted the mom and let her know to text at anytime. We have since texted a few times over the week and it has been nice getting to know her. We have very similar personalities and we both have a love of Disney :)
The next step will be my medical screening. The coordinating nurse at the fertility clinic was out all last week and was suppose to return to work yesterday. I have been anxiously awaiting a phone call from them to set up my appointment. I am really hoping they can get me in before Christmas to start this process. The results of all the blood work and such will take a week or two to get back before we can move on the the next phase which is the least fun, Legal.
Luckily for us, we both live in Illinois and Illinois has great laws about surrogacy. (some other states make surrogacy more difficult) So this process should be pretty quick. There is a lot of legal stuff to think about when someone is carrying someone else's child for them. Anyway, we have been referred to a lawyer who is very familiar with surrogacy cases so it should be painless.
After legal is over, we will move on to the transfer phase. I should know more about this after my medical appointment!
Please pray that they can get me in before Christmas so that we can get this process started!
I'll update soon!
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Meeting the Intended Parents
Today we got a chance to meet with the Intended Parents via Skype.
We met for about an hour with the owner of the agency and E(mom) and P(dad).
Everything went really well. We love their personalities and their story! I am so excited to be able to work with them.
Next step with be detailed medical screening at the fertility clinic. It is only a few minutes from their home, so we will actually get to meet them in person then as well! We are so excited for this next phase! Stay tuned!
We met for about an hour with the owner of the agency and E(mom) and P(dad).
Everything went really well. We love their personalities and their story! I am so excited to be able to work with them.
Next step with be detailed medical screening at the fertility clinic. It is only a few minutes from their home, so we will actually get to meet them in person then as well! We are so excited for this next phase! Stay tuned!
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
An update...
It has been a long few weeks.
Shortly after being matched with the intended parents, my medical records were sent to their fertility clinic. A nurse at the clinic reviewed my records and wanted some more information from one of my physicians. The very same day (November 9th) I requested the records be sent to the agency. After many phone calls and some nagging, the agency received the last pieces they needed on Monday (November 21st). My full history was sent to the fertility clinic and today they finally replied back to me that I am "a good candidate".
One of the concerns is over a medication I am currently taking for acidity in my stomach. I am currently in the process of weaning off of this medications per my Gastro Doctor's advisement, but the fertility clinic highly suggest I not take it while pregnant. The medication is a class B drug for pregnancy. This means that the medication has been studied in rats and did not show anything too significant. However, it is unknown what it can do to humans (as you can't exactly run trials on pregnant women).
Anyway, the goal is to be off of the medicine before the pregnancy begins (I am currently taking it about once every 3 days).
Next step, will be a Skype call with the agency, Dan, me, and the intended parents. If we all feel we are a good fit, then we will proceed with the next steps which are a full medical work up by the fertility clinic and talking about a timeline!
Hoping to know more information early next week!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Brooke
Shortly after being matched with the intended parents, my medical records were sent to their fertility clinic. A nurse at the clinic reviewed my records and wanted some more information from one of my physicians. The very same day (November 9th) I requested the records be sent to the agency. After many phone calls and some nagging, the agency received the last pieces they needed on Monday (November 21st). My full history was sent to the fertility clinic and today they finally replied back to me that I am "a good candidate".
One of the concerns is over a medication I am currently taking for acidity in my stomach. I am currently in the process of weaning off of this medications per my Gastro Doctor's advisement, but the fertility clinic highly suggest I not take it while pregnant. The medication is a class B drug for pregnancy. This means that the medication has been studied in rats and did not show anything too significant. However, it is unknown what it can do to humans (as you can't exactly run trials on pregnant women).
Anyway, the goal is to be off of the medicine before the pregnancy begins (I am currently taking it about once every 3 days).
Next step, will be a Skype call with the agency, Dan, me, and the intended parents. If we all feel we are a good fit, then we will proceed with the next steps which are a full medical work up by the fertility clinic and talking about a timeline!
Hoping to know more information early next week!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Brooke
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Next Steps...
Yesterday, Dan and I made the trek to downtown Chicago to meet with one of the co-founders of the agency we are working with. It was wonderful to finally meet her and have her go over the process, what to expect, and talk about her passion for infertility.
Near the end of the meeting, she informed us that she has a potential family for us! She gave us their profile to look over. This couple sounds amazing and my heart immediately went out to them! We actually have quite a bit in common. We told her we wanted to proceed seeing as so much was alike. We are currently waiting to hear if they have accepted us as well. If they choose to pass, we will be given some more profiles to look over to determine who is the best fit for us.
Having a good fit with the intended parents is so important to us and this agency. The agency only deals with people who are looking to build a relationship together as opposed to a business transaction. Other than having a healthy child for them, our number one priority is feeling comfortable together!
After leaving downtown, we went to Oak Park for a psychological screening. I had already completed the MMPI and the psychologist just wanted to get a feel for who we are, what support systems we have in place, and determine what we were hoping to gain in this surrogacy process.
During the application process, you have to state what your beliefs are and that is how you are matched. For instance, I have to determine if I am willing to terminate for things like Down Syndrome or a severe medical condition. I have to determine if I am willing to reduce if I am carrying multiples and so forth. Due to my beliefs of not wanting to terminate, I am actually a hard match. Many couples want to decide that for themselves, which is fine for them. However, we would not be a good match. Make sense?
Anyway, psychological appointment is done and now we are just in the waiting phase to hear if we are a good match. If we do match, we will get to meet the couple and then have medical screenings done before meeting with the fertility specialist.
Stay tuned!
Near the end of the meeting, she informed us that she has a potential family for us! She gave us their profile to look over. This couple sounds amazing and my heart immediately went out to them! We actually have quite a bit in common. We told her we wanted to proceed seeing as so much was alike. We are currently waiting to hear if they have accepted us as well. If they choose to pass, we will be given some more profiles to look over to determine who is the best fit for us.
Having a good fit with the intended parents is so important to us and this agency. The agency only deals with people who are looking to build a relationship together as opposed to a business transaction. Other than having a healthy child for them, our number one priority is feeling comfortable together!
After leaving downtown, we went to Oak Park for a psychological screening. I had already completed the MMPI and the psychologist just wanted to get a feel for who we are, what support systems we have in place, and determine what we were hoping to gain in this surrogacy process.
During the application process, you have to state what your beliefs are and that is how you are matched. For instance, I have to determine if I am willing to terminate for things like Down Syndrome or a severe medical condition. I have to determine if I am willing to reduce if I am carrying multiples and so forth. Due to my beliefs of not wanting to terminate, I am actually a hard match. Many couples want to decide that for themselves, which is fine for them. However, we would not be a good match. Make sense?
Anyway, psychological appointment is done and now we are just in the waiting phase to hear if we are a good match. If we do match, we will get to meet the couple and then have medical screenings done before meeting with the fertility specialist.
Stay tuned!
The Beginning...
Wow! Where to begin?!
If you haven't been informed, now is my chance! Surprise! I am becoming a surrogate!
A surrogate you ask? What? How? Why? I know you and tons of others have a ton of questions.
Let me start at the beginning.
It is actually hard to explain. Years ago, before I was married or even had kids of my own, I heard about someone being a surrogate. I thought, "Hmm... that's different!" I looked up a few things (there wasn't much out there then) and moved on from it.
Over the past few years, I have been surrounded by loved ones who have struggled with infertility. They have all combat it one way or another and through listening to them, I began to research. I wanted to know more about the infertility world so that I could engage in conversations with them about their struggles. I wanted to be there for them, even if I didn't fully understand the feelings and struggles they were going through.
Through all my research, I came upon surrogacy. I felt an instant draw to it. To learn more, to understand more, to comprehend what these couples go through.
And then I felt it. The calling. I have never experienced anything like it before. The only way to describe it, is to say that it was a completely overwhelming feeling of "this... this is your purpose."
So here is me. Putting it out there. Doing what God has called me to do.
Now that you know why, I assume you have some questions.
What is surrogacy?
I will be a gestational surrogate. This means that the baby will not be genetically related to me or Dan at all. Think of it as "an incubator" type of thing! :)
I will be matched with a family and their embryo will be implanted into my uterus. I do not yet know the family I will carry for. I am currently in the process of being matched through an organization.
How does Dan feel?
Let me tell you, we have talked A LOT about this. My husband is amazing and supports me 110%. He knows that this is a passion of mine and supports me all the way! He knows there will be morning sickness, exhaustion, and the entire delivery process. He is going to have to "hold down the fort" and he is more than capable of not only supporting me, but supporting our kids along the way too.
Speaking of the kids, will they understand?
To a certain extent, no. The kids are young and will not fully understand this process. However, Tucker is starting to understand the concept of giving to others. That is what we are doing. We are giving our time to others to help them complete their family. I will be having a baby, but that baby will be going to another family because that is what they have been praying for.
Is this safe?
Absolutely! I have been cleared by my OBGYN and deemed "an excellent candidate." I want to do this while I am "young" and in shape. I have had two smooth pregnancies and deliveries and am praying for one more. This pregnancy will be no more risky than any other pregnancy.
Speaking of pregnancies... Yes, our family is complete. We love our two children and know that our family is done. Let's help start or complete someone else's!
How can you give up a baby?
Well, I'm not "giving up" a baby. This baby is not mine. I am an incubator if you will. This baby is so loved by his/her mom and dad and I cannot wait to see the look on their eyes when they hold him/her for the first time.
In a sense, I do this everyday. As a child care provider, I hold other people's babies, I kiss their boo boo's, I make sure they are fed properly, and I protect them while their mom and dad's are not there. At the end of the day, I hand the child back. The child is not mine. If I never felt sadness when the families moved or the child went to kindergarten, then there would be something seriously wrong with me. It's the same thing. I with love this baby, feed this baby, protect this baby, and then send him/her home.
My hope, is that this family and I create a special bond. That we will become friends and that we will stay in touch. I would love to see this child grow and thrive surrounded by the love of HIS/HER PARENTS!
You run a day care? How are you going to be stable?
I have an awesome assistant. She is so reliable and loves the kids as much as I do. In addition, I have an awesome substitute. She is always willing to help. They both go the extra mile to make sure everything is running smoothly at home. Before I even applied to be a surrogate, I talked with both of them about the extra commitment it might be for them. They are so supportive for this process!
I'm sure there are questions I have missed. Feel free to ask them! I am here doing the Lord's work and part of his work is educating others!
I welcome any and all prayers throughout this process! It has been extremely exciting so far!
Here is where I am in the process.
I have been through the application and interview process.
My OBGYN has signed off on having no concerns over me being a surrogate.
All paperwork is turned in to the company.
Dan and I have been background checked and cleared by the company.
Next up:
Dan and I will meet with a psychologist. He/She will make sure we are on the same page with the surrogacy process and I will complete a psychological test to make sure I am stable enough for this process.
Then, we will be matched with intending parents. From there, we will get to meet them via skype and really make sure we are a good match.
Stay tuned for more updates! :)
If you haven't been informed, now is my chance! Surprise! I am becoming a surrogate!
A surrogate you ask? What? How? Why? I know you and tons of others have a ton of questions.
Let me start at the beginning.
It is actually hard to explain. Years ago, before I was married or even had kids of my own, I heard about someone being a surrogate. I thought, "Hmm... that's different!" I looked up a few things (there wasn't much out there then) and moved on from it.
Over the past few years, I have been surrounded by loved ones who have struggled with infertility. They have all combat it one way or another and through listening to them, I began to research. I wanted to know more about the infertility world so that I could engage in conversations with them about their struggles. I wanted to be there for them, even if I didn't fully understand the feelings and struggles they were going through.
Through all my research, I came upon surrogacy. I felt an instant draw to it. To learn more, to understand more, to comprehend what these couples go through.
And then I felt it. The calling. I have never experienced anything like it before. The only way to describe it, is to say that it was a completely overwhelming feeling of "this... this is your purpose."
So here is me. Putting it out there. Doing what God has called me to do.
Now that you know why, I assume you have some questions.
What is surrogacy?
I will be a gestational surrogate. This means that the baby will not be genetically related to me or Dan at all. Think of it as "an incubator" type of thing! :)
I will be matched with a family and their embryo will be implanted into my uterus. I do not yet know the family I will carry for. I am currently in the process of being matched through an organization.
How does Dan feel?
Let me tell you, we have talked A LOT about this. My husband is amazing and supports me 110%. He knows that this is a passion of mine and supports me all the way! He knows there will be morning sickness, exhaustion, and the entire delivery process. He is going to have to "hold down the fort" and he is more than capable of not only supporting me, but supporting our kids along the way too.
Speaking of the kids, will they understand?
To a certain extent, no. The kids are young and will not fully understand this process. However, Tucker is starting to understand the concept of giving to others. That is what we are doing. We are giving our time to others to help them complete their family. I will be having a baby, but that baby will be going to another family because that is what they have been praying for.
Is this safe?
Absolutely! I have been cleared by my OBGYN and deemed "an excellent candidate." I want to do this while I am "young" and in shape. I have had two smooth pregnancies and deliveries and am praying for one more. This pregnancy will be no more risky than any other pregnancy.
Speaking of pregnancies... Yes, our family is complete. We love our two children and know that our family is done. Let's help start or complete someone else's!
How can you give up a baby?
Well, I'm not "giving up" a baby. This baby is not mine. I am an incubator if you will. This baby is so loved by his/her mom and dad and I cannot wait to see the look on their eyes when they hold him/her for the first time.
In a sense, I do this everyday. As a child care provider, I hold other people's babies, I kiss their boo boo's, I make sure they are fed properly, and I protect them while their mom and dad's are not there. At the end of the day, I hand the child back. The child is not mine. If I never felt sadness when the families moved or the child went to kindergarten, then there would be something seriously wrong with me. It's the same thing. I with love this baby, feed this baby, protect this baby, and then send him/her home.
My hope, is that this family and I create a special bond. That we will become friends and that we will stay in touch. I would love to see this child grow and thrive surrounded by the love of HIS/HER PARENTS!
You run a day care? How are you going to be stable?
I have an awesome assistant. She is so reliable and loves the kids as much as I do. In addition, I have an awesome substitute. She is always willing to help. They both go the extra mile to make sure everything is running smoothly at home. Before I even applied to be a surrogate, I talked with both of them about the extra commitment it might be for them. They are so supportive for this process!
I'm sure there are questions I have missed. Feel free to ask them! I am here doing the Lord's work and part of his work is educating others!
I welcome any and all prayers throughout this process! It has been extremely exciting so far!
Here is where I am in the process.
I have been through the application and interview process.
My OBGYN has signed off on having no concerns over me being a surrogate.
All paperwork is turned in to the company.
Dan and I have been background checked and cleared by the company.
Next up:
Dan and I will meet with a psychologist. He/She will make sure we are on the same page with the surrogacy process and I will complete a psychological test to make sure I am stable enough for this process.
Then, we will be matched with intending parents. From there, we will get to meet them via skype and really make sure we are a good match.
Stay tuned for more updates! :)
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